jump(s)-the-track(s)

napo 30:

2011-04-30T21:06:00.000-06:00

dear p.

let's pack our bags for these distances. sunscreen and parkas. blank journals and old novels. our animals in tow. maps marked with lines drawn in catywampus patterns. eliot had no story for this. choose a page, or a road. it really doesn't matter. our cars will be near overflowing. our breath running fast. our memories caged inside. this time it's how we say no. how we refuse to accept the voices around us. the daunting misplaced gossip. we don't know where we're going, but we come prepared.

napo 29:

2011-04-30T21:00:00.000-06:00

dear,

slam the door,
scream and curse
before the masses.

these clementines
will be held for you,
their sticky juice stuck
to our fingers.

forget right, screw
appearances.
do something

napo 28:

2011-04-29T07:05:00.001-06:00

napo 27:

2011-04-28T08:45:00.001-06:00

napo 26:

2011-04-26T22:43:00.001-06:00

napo 25:

2011-04-25T21:17:00.001-06:00

napo 24:

2011-04-24T16:59:00.001-06:00

forgot yesterday (napo 23):

2011-04-24T16:51:00.001-06:00

napo 22:

2011-04-22T19:32:00.000-06:00

was a cento (or two) for this.

enter your own take soon!

mine will be visible between now and sunday.

napo 21:

2011-04-21T21:37:00.001-06:00

napo 20:

2011-04-21T21:31:00.001-06:00

napo 19:

2011-04-19T22:56:00.001-06:00

napo 18:

2011-04-19T22:36:00.001-06:00

napo 17:

2011-04-19T22:12:00.001-06:00

still writing...

2011-04-18T18:04:00.002-06:00

just not getting things posted. hope for 17, 18, & 19 tomorrow!

napo 16:

2011-04-16T23:58:00.002-06:00

napo 15:

2011-04-15T19:00:00.022-06:00

napo 14: 14 Lines for 14 Days

2011-04-14T22:48:00.001-06:00

napo 13: the five-minute run

2011-04-13T20:45:00.001-06:00

napo 12:

2011-04-12T22:05:00.001-06:00

napo 11:

2011-04-11T21:06:00.001-06:00

napo 10:

2011-04-10T22:38:00.001-06:00

napo 9: the rings of saturn are out tonight

2011-04-09T23:43:00.001-06:00

napo 8:

2011-04-09T23:26:00.001-06:00

napoems

2011-04-08T18:54:00.001-06:00

look for #8 & #9 tomorrow. i'm still here & still writing. thank you, all you lovely readers.

napo 7:

2011-04-07T23:52:00.001-06:00

napo 6:

2011-04-06T22:12:00.002-06:00

napo 5: money affects

2011-04-05T21:56:00.001-06:00

napo 4:

2011-04-04T21:05:00.001-06:00

napo 3:

2011-04-03T19:58:00.001-06:00

napo 2:

2011-04-02T19:45:00.050-06:00

napo 1: constant conundrum

2011-04-01T18:41:00.001-06:00

NaPoWriMo 2011

2011-03-31T20:49:00.000-06:00

here's how it will go. a poem a day. i will remove the previous poem when the new one goes up. i have no central theme, idea, or arena this year unlike the past. however i haven't completed the challenge in three years. this year will be different. i think.

2011-01-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

it's almost like forgetting. how to ride that bike or tie these shoes. it's almost nervous. this hesitation. these fingers with so much to say. it's almost stoic. this forceful push forward. this removed sense of things. it's almost perennial. this doubt. these dry spells. it's almost comical. these words that spill forth. this empty space. it's almost like a dream. that won't end. this repetitive motion. so familiar. so different from before. the words i handle, like the books i shelve are unique according to the perspective, the day, the opinions. pronounced they are different according the the order formed by this. it's like one moment takes over another like dominos lined up on my kitchen floor. it's almost like that time when we connected and no words were needed only looks. that kiss. this memory. how to find the space again. the patterns. the voice that will propel me into the realm of movement. discomfort. that's what this is almost about. exploration. the ridiculousness of life. the petty drama that fills the minds of others. it's almost like it matters, but not quite. not like the path i've traced with my mind. not like the understanding i seek with my hands. not like the nightmares i analyze.

2010-11-04T22:18:00.000-06:00

things i miss...

good coffee
wine bars
2:00 a.m. talks
writing frenzies
open mics
massive hugs
walks, the walks together
moisture

things i embrace...

this landscape
my own confidence
the future
solitude
hope
adventure

things to overcome...

fears
insecurities

these things

2010-09-27T22:22:00.001-06:00

hands restless. pronounced fears get pushed back.

moved into a new (to me) little house. it's all lovely and bizzare at once. unpacking boxes of life from up to seven years ago is like many time capsules and this overwhelming feeling of why? except where the books and papers are concerned. there are crammed bookshelves, books behind the bathroom door, books under the end table.

unleashing the papers was like unpacking a part of myself i forgot existed. and now the hands are restless and rusty. with this idea of the writer i once was. the wonder of stagnation. i closed myself off in so many ways, except from this place that informs my history.

this place filled with the idea of the me i was when i moved away in 2004. there are those who dislike the me i'm trying to be--some combination of the me of oregons, and marylands, and self-confidences, and multi-tasking, and last-minute super-hat trading crazy + the me of small town wyoming, the me of a this nervous system. yet, there is this overwhelming love from others. this whatever goes that is so beautiful.

i learn. i grow. i plan.

right now. a full-time job after three years of part-time crazy. homemade, hand touched t-shirts. cats. knitting projects half started.

napowrimo 8

2010-04-12T16:27:00.000-06:00

i will try to find associations through this cut-and-dry presentation of world news.
i will try to see beyond the dark purple moon in your eyes.
i will try not to bleed into this economy the structure of my tears.

i will try to increase the capacity of your hope.
i will try to delay the noise of this collapse.
i will try not to nest in an air of superiority.

i will try to celebrate the demographic surrounding us.
i will try not to represent a "strong american economy."

still here

2010-04-09T19:37:00.000-06:00

hang in here with me-i have a lot of things to digest after today. I hope to be back in full force after tomorrow. Multiple postings this weekend!

it's time

2010-04-08T22:27:00.000-06:00

to start editing. and with that in mind the drafts are going to begin coming down. thanks for reading, one and all!

sorry folks

2010-04-08T22:05:00.000-06:00

i'm running about a day behind on napoems at the moment. hang in there with me. i have a good feeling this year, that i'll finish out april.

napowrimo 7

2010-04-08T22:03:00.001-06:00

napowrimo 6

2010-04-06T20:56:00.001-06:00

napowrimo 5

2010-04-06T20:47:00.001-06:00

napowrimo 4

2010-04-04T21:24:00.001-06:00

napowrimo 3

2010-04-03T21:08:00.001-06:00

napowrimo 2

2010-04-03T21:07:00.001-06:00

stay tuned...

2010-04-02T19:31:00.001-06:00

napowrimo-poems 2 & 3 will be posted tomorrow night.

napowrimo 1

2010-04-01T20:04:00.001-06:00

and the winner of the scarf is...

2010-01-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

Maggie. I'll start knitting, and thanks to everyone for participating! Maybe I'll do this again sometime.

Books

2010-01-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

Recently Given:

    A Little White Shadow by Mary Ruefle
   Lost Alphabet by Lisa Olstein

Recently Gifted:

   For Girls & Others by Shanna Compton

Recently Purchased:

   Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle, and Simone Beck
   Daughters of the Stone by Dahlma Llanos-Figueroa
   Warsaw Bikini by Sandra Simonds
   My Zorba by Danielle Pafunda
   Drunk by Noon by Jennifer L. Knox
   Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession by Julie Powell
   Hattitude: Knits for Every Mood by Cathy Carron
   Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee
   Stones into Schools: Promoting Peace with Books, Not Bombs, in Afghanistan and Pakistan
        by Greg Mortenson
   The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
   Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell

A lot of new things to read in less than a month. I read a total of 74 books in 2009...we'll see how 2010 goes.

Inspired by....

2010-01-11T22:00:00.002-07:00

Bronwen I've decided to give away one of my scarves. I've spent the last several months knitting scarves in varying colors and patterns. I don't have pictures to offer past projects (something I need to start doing), but leave me a comment at this blog with your color choice(s) & a recommended movie to watch or book to listen to (haven't got a book prop yet) while knitting and on Thursday, January 14th at 10:00 p.m. Mountain Time I'll use the random number generator to choose.

I'll contact you for shipping address if I don't already have it.
A big thanks to Bronwen for the great idea. I'm using this to kick off blogging again.

Let NaPoWriMo begin....1 of 30

2009-04-02T10:19:00.003-06:00

another kind of -ist

first of all let's roll it in a batter
before eating

Mumbai was in your dreams
vibrant colors permeating
salt-and-pepper squid

this was aged 20 years
before northern lights gathered
before shells were kicked free

the last week

2008-12-20T22:41:00.002-07:00

Coldness.

And the feel of knitting needles. Another finished scarf. New, and more challenging patterns, which means I need to buy some more needles.

Shopping for TVs w/ my g-ma. And sales clerks who act like you're a know-nothing idiot.

Packages and letters off to friends. Some actually on time.

Some temp work lined up...yay!

Hot chocolate & meandering shopping w/ old friends. Hugs and catch-up with others.

Drives and shopping trips to beat out storms.

Grad school research.

Reading The History of Love.

2008-12-09T22:30:00.004-07:00

if you are asking, i voice a mental bankruptcy. a plan for no plan. ways of seeing through the feathers that carpet my gloved hand.
the puss that folds and exits with delicacy.
in a wastebasket of surgeons gloves what will you find? staples or stitches?
no doubt we are lost. no doubt you live better. no doubt space is more tangible.
if the artifice were unclogged more would be clear. less valued.

hating my inbox

2008-12-08T18:08:00.001-07:00

and all the unanswered, un-addressed, unsent things that i should have attended to already. whispering "patience."

semi-update

2008-11-18T11:22:00.003-07:00

summer
1. Oregon/graduation/friends/sleeping in Denver airport
2. more planes/Maryland/friends/family
3. job apps.
4. 2 weddings
5. birth of friend's baby
5. more job apps.
6. loveliness

fall
1. more planes/Wyoming
2. managing depressed feelings
3. deaths of 3 friends
4. meeting another friends newborn
5. continued job apps.
6. g-ma's surgery
7. scottie dog's multiple vet visits
8. attempts to be more communicative with friends
9. learning to cook
10. the harvest/canning of carrots/tomatoes/potatoes/orange fingers
11. adoption of "dropped off" kitty cat now dubbed "Izzie"
12. 1st time calling 911/fire/saving animals/helping neighbors/breathing smoke/lungs now clouded black
13. the need of home
13. here

2008-08-20T12:35:00.001-06:00

how do you touch the sky?

2008-08-20T12:34:00.000-06:00

what does home mean?

2008-08-20T08:52:00.001-06:00

are mere moments of happiness enough?

recent impressions

2008-08-14T19:37:00.000-06:00

battery powered twinkle lights,
duck-pin bowling & disco music,
sunburns that echo contours,
sleep deprivation,
olympic medals,
beer,
700 page novels,
and concert tickets...

it's about tying knots in endless ropes. about trying scary things. about figuring out where my comfort level is. it's about employment or lack of it. it's about not bleeding. it's about missing the old. dreaming the future. needing so much. that isn't. just isn't, right now.

dream

2008-06-30T16:15:00.001-06:00

this was about you. you there & you there. the people from here and there and there. they came together to offer something distinct and yet familiar.

who am i kidding?

2008-06-30T16:13:00.001-06:00

i FAILED napowrimo...sorry to all you who hung in there with me. but, i've made promises to the blog police to start posting again. maybe the summer will provide something new?

regarding that which is april

2008-05-01T10:20:00.002-06:00

april got sadly away from me in a weird way. between job apps, family stuff, & other stuff things just shifted. but i wanted to let all those know (that might still be reading) that i enjoyed the process this year. once again, i loved reading what everyone else came up with. and so, i plan to finish my allotment of napoems....in may :)

stay-tuned. & thanks for reading

2008-04-25T14:01:00.001-06:00

some new napoems up! i'm coming back & catching up & trying to play with you all.

napowrimo 12

2008-04-25T14:01:00.000-06:00

airspace near the heart of a spreading grove
guileless abraham of the classic madeira

**

a sober esteem is hardly worth catching

**

lament in dotted lines Dublin's
tapering

napowrimo 11

2008-04-25T13:42:00.000-06:00

If you write a note to your milkman, where will it get you?

Efficient storage offers a better way. Why not just send for the filmstrip lectures on how temperature affects...or dry-cleaning at home.

We need one chance at being prominent.

2008-04-16T19:53:00.001-06:00

i am dust.

i am dreams.

i am jobs.

i am travel.

i am future.

i am napo-behind.

i am napo-hopeful.

2008-04-13T19:58:00.002-06:00

napowrimo numbers have been confusing me. so, i brought the posts back w/o the content. sorry if this clogged up your readers. one thing i know, i'm thoroughly behind & feeling a bit frustrated. not so much in quantity as quality.

napowrimo 10

2008-04-11T15:42:00.003-06:00

napowrimo 9

2008-04-11T15:04:00.005-06:00

removed.

napowrimo 8

2008-04-10T21:39:00.003-06:00

removed.

napowrimo

2008-04-08T22:49:00.004-06:00

i'll catch up soon. i've got a lot running through my head & i think there may be more vispo on the way. maybe.

on another note. i'm simply astonished (happy-like) that there is going to be a poetry slam tomorrow! here. in small town, wyoming. a-mazing. @ no charge too. i never thought i'd see the day. now we just need to work on some other, more interesting readings.

2008-04-08T22:41:00.002-06:00

re-read yesterday: juliana spahr's this connection of everyone with lungs.

reading: lyn hejinian's my life.

napowrimo 7

2008-04-07T22:28:00.004-06:00

removed.

napowrimo 6

2008-04-06T23:16:00.005-06:00

removed.

napowrimo 5

2008-04-06T19:42:00.007-06:00

removed.

napowrimo 4

2008-04-04T17:00:00.005-06:00

removed.

after...

2008-04-03T23:11:00.002-06:00

sandra

so, lately i feel like a sponge ready to soak up anything, but i'm not sure where to turn (don't get me wrong, i have a list). anyway, i'd be curious to know what youthink i ought to be reading right now. & i'd love the suggestions which might get me reading some different things!

napowrimo 3

2008-04-03T17:53:00.004-06:00

removed.

fyi:

2008-04-03T12:56:00.002-06:00

i plan to remove napowrimo posts as i write the new ones each day.

napowrimo 2 Selective Purse Amnesia*

2008-04-02T19:49:00.001-06:00

removed.

napowrimo 1

2008-04-01T18:57:00.006-06:00

removed.

napowrimo

2008-03-30T10:32:00.002-06:00

something i'm going to try to do in addition to napowrimo is send out a submission/group of submissions once a week. i owe some to people...so this will at least get me going on those. i hope.

what if i throw darts...

2008-03-30T00:01:00.001-06:00

to make decisions? would that work?

----------------------------

i went on a deleting spree the other day. almost decided to "hide" my blog for awhile again. then, realized that was impossible since i've committed to napowrimo & suddenly things started looking better. i don't know how this will work for me this year. but april/may last year were two of the most productive months writing-wise of 2007. that could also be because i was working on my capstone, but i still think napowrimo had something to do with it.

----------------------------

spring weather here continues to offer a sampling of everything. today: sunny, cloudy, snow, wind, sunny, more wind. & one day last week: hail, snow, rain, sun, clouds, wind, repeat. i never thought i'd say it, but i'm beyond ready for summer.

it's here!

2008-03-28T15:37:00.009-06:00

FOURSQUARE 2.9

big thanks to Jessica for her continued & beautiful work on this publication.

2008-03-24T09:43:00.002-06:00

NAPOWRIMO.

are you ready?

to do's

2008-03-19T09:19:00.004-06:00

1. clean my "space"
~~2. follow up on some jobs.~~
3. update resume.
4. plan of attack for packing.
~~5. mail thank yous.~~
6. send off a set of submissions...or at least start putting them together.
7. update my flickr/facebook/myspace (good procrastination from the other things).

2008-03-18T23:22:00.004-06:00

i make lists in my head because they feel less intimidating that way.

i listen to bad music.

i listen to good music.

i make food to comfort & i make food to sustain.

i grow cross-eyed on the computer.

i make multi-purpose plans. and then strike them.

i let myself nap.

i cut out circles of fabric & then sew them together.

i dream in warped npr news stories.

tired

2008-03-06T22:26:00.002-07:00

Blogging tired isn't so great I guess. But then probably neither is responding to blogs or emails. I always wonder if I'm saying want I want to, or if I'm saying what I'm saying how I mean to say it. Bleh.

Writing's been going well for me lately. The first time, probably since I graduated. At least the first time I feel OK about it. Which is good. It means at least one thing in my life right now feels like it's going on an upward/forward track. It helps to have one thing that's doing that...makes the rest bearable I guess.

Everything else seems sort of backward or falling downhill or something.

I need to start making plans soon, instead of just dreams (which are, in essence, more fun).

my "i" is stuck

2008-02-28T17:29:00.001-07:00

anybody have experience un-sticking typewriter keys? do i just use a bit of oil or what?

the thing about wyoming

2008-02-25T22:21:00.002-07:00

spring comes, lullaby (open blue skies) & warms your face. all this for long enough that you pull out your pretty skirts, pull on your sandals, just in time to wake up to snow and remember: spring is in control.

2008-02-19T22:26:00.003-07:00

1. i feel empty.

2. drained or draining.

3. what the hell?

4. i don't understand.

5. ready for the new, the different, the love.

6. seeing the hands in the work are important.

7. for both pottery and 'lil books.

8. what a day.

9. can i cry now?

2008-02-19T08:11:00.001-07:00

i feel all knotted up inside.

i dreamt...

2008-02-14T07:49:00.002-07:00

I was rested before I slept, in a way that lying down can make a differnce.

That pockets of air (somewhat like bubble wrap) served like therapy.

I could hug you through this screen.

what i remember

2008-02-13T14:25:00.002-07:00

from this time last year is book swaps, and paper parties in my room, and poetry readings, and open mics, and chocolate candies, and lovely drinks, and probably (although i can't remember for sure) greasy fries.

news . resumes/restless . fears

2008-02-13T08:28:00.002-07:00

in inspiration from jess.

news:
in the last two days i've heard of new pregnancies and engagments from friends.

resumes/restless:
despite that my resume has been stamped with approval from people whose opinion i trust implicitely...nothing promising has come from it. i'm still in this perpetual search for the next_____? and so ready for it, i can't even tell you. i'm restless in ways i don't understand. i feel sometimes as if i could run the length of the country.

fears:
i'm already anticipating napowrimo in anticipation that it will kick me out of my writing stupor into something productive and exciting. calls and notes from all you lovelies keep me from falling into my own head too much. thank you.

i'm trying to use this space again.
more adequetly. more adeptly. more frequently.

2008-02-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

it's friday. thank goodness!

are you popular?

2008-02-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

2008-02-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

Did you see his collection of aquarium fish pictures? How he lies down on Broadway? The board game offers an explanation that I don't want to understand. Before carpe diem was just day. The way one folded into another, superfluous of the surroundings. What's it all about anyway? In Saskatchewan, I found a new street, freshly paved and sunk my toes into the cement. I know what you're thinking, and you'd be right. But, I couldn't help myself. I reject the terminology that I went there to hide.

2008-01-21T00:05:00.000-07:00

I've spent an inordinate amount of time in meetings the last couple of weeks. Yes, meetings. The major thing I've garnered: apparently the "new" generation referred to as the "net generation," mind you not to be confused with generation x or generation y....this generation is so VASTLY different from either x or y as to prompt significant thought in what it means and what their new "needs" are. I personally have several friends that would be classified in the net generation and I don't see that their needs are so different from mine. Maybe I'm missing some subtle point?

..........................................................................................................................................................................

It's been snowing for a couple of days now. Wyoming snow, pure and simple. Where it doesn't fall vertically, but more on some sort of horizontal plane or axis...and never ever builds up to much of anything across the board, but oh the drifts! And I got stuck in one. The city here doesn't plow enough, and I doubt how they do plow when they do. I am once again grateful for the invention of cell phones, and was able to call for friendly help.