Let NaPoWriMo begin....1 of 30

another kind of -ist

first of all let's roll it in a batter
before eating

Mumbai was in your dreams
vibrant colors permeating
salt-and-pepper squid

this was aged 20 years
before northern lights gathered
before shells were kicked free

the last week

Coldness.

And the feel of knitting needles. Another finished scarf. New, and more challenging patterns, which means I need to buy some more needles.

Shopping for TVs w/ my g-ma. And sales clerks who act like you're a know-nothing idiot.

Packages and letters off to friends. Some actually on time.

Some temp work lined up...yay!

Hot chocolate & meandering shopping w/ old friends. Hugs and catch-up with others.

Drives and shopping trips to beat out storms.

Grad school research.

Reading The History of Love.

if you are asking, i voice a mental bankruptcy. a plan for no plan. ways of seeing through the feathers that carpet my gloved hand.
the puss that folds and exits with delicacy.
in a wastebasket of surgeons gloves what will you find? staples or stitches?
no doubt we are lost. no doubt you live better. no doubt space is more tangible.
if the artifice were unclogged more would be clear. less valued.

hating my inbox

and all the unanswered, un-addressed, unsent things that i should have attended to already. whispering "patience."

semi-update

summer
1. Oregon/graduation/friends/sleeping in Denver airport
2. more planes/Maryland/friends/family
3. job apps.
4. 2 weddings
5. birth of friend's baby
5. more job apps.
6. loveliness

fall
1. more planes/Wyoming
2. managing depressed feelings
3. deaths of 3 friends
4. meeting another friends newborn
5. continued job apps.
6. g-ma's surgery
7. scottie dog's multiple vet visits
8. attempts to be more communicative with friends
9. learning to cook
10. the harvest/canning of carrots/tomatoes/potatoes/orange fingers
11. adoption of "dropped off" kitty cat now dubbed "Izzie"
12. 1st time calling 911/fire/saving animals/helping neighbors/breathing smoke/lungs now clouded black
13. the need of home
13. here

how do you touch the sky?

what does home mean?

are mere moments of happiness enough?

recent impressions

battery powered twinkle lights,
duck-pin bowling & disco music,
sunburns that echo contours,
sleep deprivation,
olympic medals,
beer,
700 page novels,
and concert tickets...

it's about tying knots in endless ropes. about trying scary things. about figuring out where my comfort level is. it's about employment or lack of it. it's about not bleeding. it's about missing the old. dreaming the future. needing so much. that isn't. just isn't, right now.